Identity crisis

I was reading an article about e-dentity crisis. E-dentity crisis is the split personalities people have online on different sites. For me, E-dentity crisis is true. On Blogger, I sound different than I do on Youtube. I sound different on Tumblr compared to Facebook. 
But does this apply in real life?
For yours truly, YES it does. 
With different people, I adopt a different personality. To 'fit in', as people say. I try to blend into the environment, a human chameleon. 
Why is this so important though? Why do we have to try so hard to adapt in a social environment? Why can't we just be who we really are, instead of struggling to meet society's standards and expectations? It's up to the environment whether they want to accept us as we truly are or not. As long as you're authentic, it's their problem, not yours.

To be the best

To be the best is to show up as your best...when nobody's watching.
People are so addicted to the limelight (whether they know it or not) that everything they do is dedicated to building a personal image and reputation. So many things that once held meaning become hollow and shallow. People are in it just for the fame and name.
Does all this outside work make someone a better person? On the surface, maybe. But as the old saying goes, 'Beauty is skin deep'. So what use is an amazing outer exterior when you have a heart only set on achieving selfish goals to boost a false sense of self esteem?
Because that's exactly what it is. False self esteem that people build up when they are in the eyes of the people. But behind closed doors, they themselves know how unpleasant it can be. Others may envy them, leading such a perfect life...but usually it's these people who have it the worst. So caught up they are in maintaining a good facade that they forget to be who they really are inside.
So to be the best, you have to BE the best, not just act the part.

Time

Yesterday I broke my watch. So I put it away in my bag.
It started bothering me for the rest of the day every time someone asked "What time is it?" or when someone mentioned the time. For example "It's one o'clock." So I check my wrist to find that there is NO WATCH there. 
We're told time is an illusion. We as human beings do not move through time. Time moves through us. ( Yeah, it might sound a bit complicated). The definition of time is created by us human beings. 
But that doesn't mean it's not important to be on time. 
If you're late for something, it shows your arrogance (everyone will wait for me), lack of efficiency in work. etcetera. It's an icon of the negative side of you, showing disrespect for the punctual people.

Why War?

Today we went to Cu Chi tunnels in Ho Chi Minh City. We got to see a lot of old weapons and traps- those Vietnamese guerillas and soldiers were really stuck in survival mode. They had to be aware of their every step, in case they hit a trap or land mine. There was no compassion or sympathy for the opponents-their only goal was to get rid of the enemy. In the documentary we watched, they even had a schoolgirl in their troops! Although she was weak, she told the other soldiers that she could go wherever they could go. They lived in underground tunnels for 20 years! The whole group of us went through a tunnel for, what, 10 minutes and came out sweating and panting. Imagine 20 YEARS in those tunnels! They had to cook their meals really early in the morning so that the smoke from their cooking could be disguised as morning mist. It was interesting, trying to figure out their strategy and how heir history fitted into their culture nowadays. It gave me a deep sense of appreciation of the era I live in, and a greater sense of urgency to do something before the human race loses the war against itself. It's an internal war we are fighting, and I am not just talking about health problems. The emotional side of humans is hardening and soon we may well be like those soldiers, watching an enemy soldier stabbed in the gut with sharpened bamboo, expressionless and cold hearted. That brings us to another lesson where we have to be more human in order to not be replaced by robots, because that is in the near future, possibly this lifetime. But that is a story for another post. Stay tuned, and give it a thought-Why war?

Smiling

Smiling is infectious, you catch it like the flu
When someone smiled at me today I started smiling too
I passed around the corner and someone saw my grin
When he smiled I realized I'd passed it on to him
I thought about that smile then I realized it's worth
A single smile like mine could travel round the earth
So if you feel a smile begin don't leave it undetected
Quickly spread this epidemic and get the world infected!

The only limits of tomorrow are the doubts of today

That's right.
There's another saying that goes with the title:
' Do not underestimate the power you have over today;
  Do not underestimate the power today has over tomorrow.'
You plant the seeds of the future in the present, and what other present like now? :)
Everything you do, every choice you make in the present, affects what's going to happen next. That's probably why time travel is impossible. The future is constantly changing. But it's all up to you! No pressure, yeah?
:)
So know that YOU (yes, you) have the ability to change your life.
With one simple choice.
Get rid of you fears, for the key to change is to have no fear.
Change.
And see magic unfold.

Unexchangeable

There are some things in life that we would not sell for any price.
For me, those things are:
a) family
b) friends
c) shared moments

That basically sums it up.

Family is really important to me because, well, it makes a person complete. A family gives me the love and happiness that is really really hard to find somewhere else. And my family also plays an important role in b) and c). My family members are my closest friends. And they are the ones I have the most memories/shared experiences with. Even though we're just a band of 5, the difference we can make is unlimited. :)

Next up is friends. Friends for me are people with whom you can relate to. Because sometimes, it seems like your family is too different than you. So of course, the next best thing is someone(s) who have something in common with you. And for me, one of the best things about having different friends is that you get to try out different personalities, if you know what I mean.

Moments...I have cherished and treasured these as long as I can remember. I can remember lots of stuff that others can only faintly recall, and those moments keep me going whenever I feel uninspired. Those moments remind me that life is awesome.

One moment I would not trade:
Today at school the Interact Club had a sale. At the same time, there was a committee meeting going on. I really really wanted to be in the meeting, because I had tons of ideas. But the president assigned me to help out with the food sale, and this fact made me grouchy for about half the morning. What a waste of a day!
After school, when I was monitoring the ice-cream section, a pudgy primary school kid wandered up to the fridge.
He was staring so intently at the flavors, clutching two ringgit notes. What happened next was truly unforgettable. Here's how the conversation went-

Kid: Uncle...
Me: (thinking-is he talking to me??)
Kid: (looks at me) Auntie...how much is one scoop of ice cream?
Me: Oh, um...RM 1.50, and two scoops is RM2.

There was laughter all around the stall, and one of the older kids called me 'Auntie'. I didn't feel offended...in fact, I think I'll be going back to running the sale tomorrow. And I'll tell all the little kids to call me 'Auntie' Hahaha! I really admire that kid's effort to be polite!

One of the other committee members told me how fun the meeting was...I still wish I'd been there, but I think that I wouldn't have exchanged that moment for ANYTHING.

Meaningful Contribution

Today a whole bunch of CVers headed down to the Association of Churches to participate in a charity sale. We sold stuff like homemade Kaya, homemade chocolate cake, soya sauce, instant oatmeal, chocolate powder and juice.
It was really fun. Everyone was very enthusiastic and upbeat. The best part of this enthusiasm was that it didn't meet a "muddy middle", in other words the point of time where all the enthusiasm is gone. No, that didn't happen. The people from our stall were yelling out the prices and products, all the while with a big smile and AWESOME energy!! Lots of people were attracted to our stall and in ONE HOUR, we sold out. :D We managed to raise RM1325 for the cancer society in Sarawak.
Thank you to all the participants for making today full of 3M moments!! You rock!!

Special thanks to Jodie, Patrick, Cliff, Jessica, Wilson, Marvin, Bernadette, Sherene, Li Sze, Regina, Jayden, Patrick, Faustina, Emily, Mio Ting (and her kids :P) and James for making this happen!! (I didn't forget anyone, right?)

You can count the seeds in an apple, but who can count the apples in a seed?

That quote is all about potential. You can count all the seeds someone has, like for example you can label people with all sorts of talents and flaws. But most people just see the talents and flaws as someone's personality, and take it for granted. Those who really pay attention, can see those 'seeds' blossoming and turning into who knows what wonderful thing. 
Here I would like to thank every single one of you who has believed in me more than I believe in myself. 

4 years ago

Four years ago on this very day, my dad was in an ICU getting a heart operation.
I was 9 years old, if my math is correct. I still remember very clearly what I was doing then at this exact hour. 
I was lying in a bed at my grandma's house, with the house phone next to me. I couldn't sleep, no matter how hard I tried. I was praying for my dad's life. I didn't know how serious it was, but I was waiting for my mom to call home and tell me it was all ok. She didn't. I remember going to sleep that night wishing my dad all the best. 
I think the biggest lesson for me the next day was appreciation. I was so grateful that the operation was successful, and that everything was ok. And when Dad said he was going to stop working for a week to sort of calm down after the operation, I was really glad, because I got to spend more time with him. And I think I was hoping that after one week he would like staying at home so much he would quit work and be at home all the time. No such luck. Haha...
I guess this story has many point-of-views. Mom told me that she was outside the ICU, where it was extremely cold. She was waiting with 3 other people who were also waiting for the good news.
Every story has many angles. So I guess one of the lessons that is learn-able from this is that we have to see the big picture to get what's really going on. 

Compliments

One thing I realize I RARELY give. That's it-compliments. I don't know why, I guess it's the ego in me not wanting to see the satisfaction on someone's face when they are praised. But actually, every deserves to be complimented once in a while.

Today, Dad went to buy an iPhone protecting sticker. The woman who was helping us out at the time seemed really grumpy, you could feel it from the way she talked to her partner. And then my Dad decided to do something about it. The people who ran the store were Foochow (like us!! :D don't know why, I'm always glad to see a Foochow no matter how grumpy they are!)  So my Dad saw this as a chance to shift the energy. He started talking to them in that dialect. In most of the cases I've encountered, the other Foochow in discovering that we speak their dialect, would be considerably cheered up. But this woman somehow persisted on using Chinese to talk to us. But slowly, the ice melted...and Dad was admiring the skills she had in putting on the iPhone protector, she did it like a real pro!! And then the couple started laughing!!! And then Dad told them about Nana's (my sister, BTW) performance tomorrow night, and they actually responded really enthusiastically when they heard the song she was going to sing!! 

It really made me smile inside, the way my Daddy can make people smile just by talking with sincerity. So...compliment people(don't forget yourself) more, and while you're at it, be SINCERE!! :)

Intention and courage

This Monday, at school, it was raining heavily and the wind was really strong. before that it was alright but suddenly a really strong wind came and actually made the rubbush bin fly up to the sky . On the way back home, we saw a whole tree uprooted my mother said that it happened because the intention was not clear . like the roots, if your intention is clear, the roots will go deep and not spread out ! Actually, after a day ,the tree somehow was planted back leafless and it was also another breakthrough for me about having courage to stand up. so, set the right and clear intention and when you fall, have courage to stand up!

The day before was my first day back at school after CV Grad Cambodia. I was a little nervous at first about going back to school after so long (although in reality what is there to worry about??) It was okay as the first day of school. People sort of  'commented' about my absence for so long, but I chose not to take it personally. I jsut accepted that it was the way they thought, and I chose to be aware of how I show up. :)

Yesterday, the teacher changed my seating position in class. This was because I was supposed to help a 'weaker' student in his studies. I never really liked this person, because he's so quiet and serious, and I am what you could call a chatterbox. :) But I realized this could prove as a good thing. You have to be good to help others be good in something. So I became aware that this was a reason for me to put in more effort to my studies, because not only do my grades depend on my hard work, so do his. Plus, the fact that he doesn't talk much could help me improve my communication skills. :P

Today--I didn't go to school because I had an upset stomach last night. I think this is a small issue, I could have gone to school today. But my dad, being, well..a dad, insisted that I stay home. I became aware that lots of people rely on their illness to seek attention from their loved ones. OR it can be the other way round, the loved ones jump at the chance to prove that they love the patient! :)

Haha, that's my 3-day recount of the past 3 days.

Commitment

When 'commitment' is mentioned, I think about 'trust', because with trust, commitment is easier.  I myself think of commitment as a 'trust test'.  When someone commited to do something, you just have to trust that someone, like Linda told us.  Same goes if you're the one who had commited.  
I am now in CV Grad Ipoh, Penang.  I had the most 3M experience.  I stood by te sea as waves crashed into me.  I felt fear.  Then and there I commited to overcome my fear and don't let my fear take over me.  My classmates may have heard this part, but there is more.  After I commited, a lare wave washed up a seashell.  It may be a coincidence, but I feel like it meant that that seashell is a reminder for me to keep my commitment. 
Commitment, at the surface means that you finish what you promised or commited to do, at least that's how I see it.  But deep in, there is a lot more.  I'm still seeking for answers for the meaning.  The reason I wrote this although I don't really know the deep meaning is because I commited to Natalie and myself to write it. 

We, like, have commitment in our everyday life, both consciously and unconscoiusly.  Sometimes we stick to our commitment, sometimes we don't. When we don't, we may not know it, but it may have hurt someone or break a relationship.

Commitment.  Another way I think of it is as if it is a higher form of promise.  

I hereby commit to write in this blog as much as I can!  :P

Sarah Ngu

Long time no write!  

LOVE

I am in CV Ipoh & Penang!! I have learned something in Ipoh that I really will remember for a life time and it is about Love . Many people says that they actually `know`what love is. Well, I guess they do not. Linda asked us to define love , so I did. I looked it up in the dictionary and it means affection. I know that, I am not dumb ok!But, when they started sharing about their definition of love I started telling myself  "Oh.. THAT define..." so I learned a lot like :

Love is the key of change
 Love is everything
Love is a choice is how you look at it

But the biggest lesson and my awareness is...
Love is confined when defined

Well, about two days later,  one of   the  CV member after knowing my awareness she say is not that type of define but is what is your understanding about LOVE these 4 letters.
Love is important in relationships, jobs, family and.. everything.

It is cool that how our family is nearly all CV family members but we are not perfect right?  So sometimes our family have challenges not sometimes but nearly always. this time Linda paired me up with my mom and i t is great!! We seem to have more love in our relationship.

Thanks to cv..
And...
TODAY IS YOUR BEST DAY
whoever that is reading this. but if it is not I hope I made it..

NANA
Kuching! Rox!

Courage is in the Moment

It's true-courage is in the moment.

Sometimes you feel the urge to do something, and a surge of motivation and energy overwhelms you. Then when this little voice comes and points out all the flaws in your idea, you think it over again and lose the enthusiasm to do it. This can be good sometimes, but when courage is needed for the good, this can stand as a real problem.

So, how do you overcome this?

Well, having a strong and firm intention helps a lot. Don't let anything waver your spirits--keep up whatever you are doing as long as you feel it is right. Whenever you feel like giving up, just remind yourself, what are you doing this for?

Silence is Gold?!

I had a sore throat yesterday. It was torture, but being the type of person who loves to be involved, and a talkative one at that, I forced myself to speak. Mom says it's about unreleased emotions, maybe it was the 10% I got on my last test? I don't know. This morning I completely lost my voice. I felt really left out of all conversations, although everyone paid me more attention than before. Pity?  But after that when I went for the Extra Curricular Activities, there were these team building games. I admit, I like shouting commands, telling people what to do. But the energy and spirit of the games just brought me up so high that I got my voice back. I still sounds like a boy going through, ahem, changes...but I AM SO HAPPY that I have my voice back and I don't have to write everything on a piece of paper. Life never lets me down.

100th post!

Yay! Our exams are over!

Last week was our exam. I realized that although it's been over for about 18 hours now, but I am still...resentful, you could say, about not doing my best. This was my first term exam in secondary school, so I guess I was pretty nervous and forgot everything. But I tell myself there will be next time. And this thought will make me look forward to future exams in which I will definitely do better.

But I think it's also my competitive ''spirit'' that makes me feel all the more unsettled. You see, everyone in my class has high hopes of me beating the long-term genius. But I guess new beginnings always start off with a challenge to boost you for the future. I definitely won't repeat those mistakes once they are etched permanently in my mind. 

Art, Books and Mutual Friends

Those three things mentioned in the title are great conversation starters for me. 
For example, I saw a girl reading a book I had read two years back. Turns out she has read the whole series (but I forgot most of it :P) It was a brief conversation, but it was there.
Then I got to know another girl more by talking to her about a person that we both know. It was funny and interesting. Later in class, we also drew lots of funny things together, 'inking' quotes on our hands. 
I think that those three things are really good conversation starters as I know where I stand with those topics: I like drawing, reading and getting to know people.

Mentoring Program at School

Today in school we had a mentoring program specially for the students in Form 1.
I got to school and registered, then I was brought to my group. I realized that I only knew 3 people in my group of 12. But after we got to know each other, we really worked well as a team. We gave each other encouragement and managed to win 5 games out of 7 games. We lost one and tied one.
During one of the games, one prefect said something the students are not encouraged to say. I realized that even "perfect" people are also human.
The games we played were rather fun, not really what I'd expect from SCHOOL. But after all, the people planning this are about our age. :P
Our team got 2nd place as an overall prize, so our group was very happy.
Today was a fun day, and I'm sure many people enjoyed it as well.

13 wishes

Today is my birthday. I have now officially lived 13 awesome years.
If  I got a wish for every birthday and added it all up until now, here's what I'd wish for:
1.world peace
2.a happy family
3.true friends
4.to make a difference
5.to make dreams come true
6.to be more sociable
7.to think good of everyone
8.to show up as my best in life
9.to be more confident
10.to be more authentic
11.to exceed expectations
12.to adopt better habits
13.to be all I can be

Hey, now that I look back on the list...I have accomplished quite a lot of it! Well...I have a wayyyy longer life to go!

Today was a very different birthday experience. Why? if you remember one of my posts from last month, I have a classmate to share my birthday with. I got lots of birthday blessings today, and I made sure to say thank you in reply to each one.
   The friend who was born on the same day as I was, and in the same hospital too...she gave me a book. :)
   Another friend who decided to step out and befriend me when I was still new...she gave me a box of  rainbow markers. :)
   Another friend who decided to include me in his project group...even though I had only been there for a week...gave me a hug. Another friend from another class gave me a hug too! :)
   And all the other well-wishers...I may not know you that well, but thanks for making my 13th birthday a special one. New friends, new life experience! :)

Comparing

You know how people say comparing yourself to others is bad? Well, in a certain aspect it CAN help us.
   For instance, if you think life is rotten, you can compare yourself to those less fortunate than you. Shift your thinking and you can be a happier person.
  Another example of how comparing helps is something like this: 
  When I was 9, I still couldn't ride a two-wheel bike. Really. And when I saw my 7 year old cousin riding it around like it was oh-so-easy, I decided to try it out. Guess what? I've been riding a two-wheel bike for four years now. :)
  One more example was when I joined primary school. Everyone was so different from me. That was when I decided to learn the ways of the Chinese School kids. It has proven to be quite useful. 
  Comparing isn't always bad. It depends how you use it.

Leisure (by William Henry Davies)

What is this life if, full of care

We have no time to stand and stare

No time to stand beneath the boughs

And stare as long as sheeps or cows

No time to see, when woods we pass,

Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,

Streams full of star, like stars at night

No time to turn at beauty's glance

And watch her feet, how they can dance

No time to wait till her mouth can

Enrich that smile her eyes began

A poor life this if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

How often do you take time off from the hectic day-to-day life? 

Dedication means stopping at nothing

Today I saw a prefect at our school carrying someone up the stairs. That guy broke his leg a few days ago, so he couldn't climb the stairs without causing a lot of trouble. The prefect carrying him up the stairs (all sweaty and red-faced) with another prefect holding his school bag and crutches was a scene that I don't think I will ever see again and feel the same way about it.

  If you're wondering, his friends carried him down the stairs.

 This was something that made me realize the prefect's dedication towards the school and their willingness to help people out.

Age doesn't matter

Remember what I was saying about the leadership training?
Well today, that person came to give us a crash course in Leadership.
The course was during the Red Crescent (Malaysian version of Red Cross) meeting at school. The lecturer was one of the former presidents of the Red Crescent club, who later went on to lead leadership clubs. He was the one who helped support the club during its split from the International side of the school.
Anyway, the highlight of this course was this:
He told us to find people we didn't know and get into groups of five to discuss the values of a leader. Because leaders can adapt to any environment they are thrown into, right?
My friends told me not to split, and to stick with them. I was hesitating about this, because that did not seem to give the effect the lecturer was looking for.
Just then, I heard someone behind me ask: "What does Integrity mean?"
Somehow, I instinctively turned around and answered their question. It wasn't even directed at me!
But that was how I got into their group. Remember, I'm the 13 year old in this bunch of 14-15 year olds. But age doesn't matter. And we talked about 2 values a leader should have. After about 5 minutes, the lecturer told us to choose a representative. My team chose me. 
I'm really glad that I had experiences on stage before, talking about leadership values...so although I was nervous, everyone else thought I did great! (mini Oprah Winfrey, someone said.. :D)
This was a great experience...especially since I did it voluntarily while others were peer pressured!

Intention again

Lately I've been getting so much proof that intentions can come true, even the most impossible kind.
It's flooding here!
Right after we talked about floods last night...
Now we're thinking of a way to get to school. I won't try to guess the bad things that could happen. we'll probably have a good journey all the way. If we ever do decide to go out.
Have a nice intention-ful day!

Leadership

Today we had a surprise assembly in school. We went to the hall and guess who the special guest were?
Everyone was clapping very hard. Why? Not because they were huge celebrities. No, they were Caucasian. I know, it may be hard to believe for adults but most kids think these things are very special.
  So this guy brought his family to our school, and turns out he's the President of this college in Perth. The reason he came to Kuching is because in his whole school, there are only two people from Malaysia. They both come from Kuching, and they were academically outstanding on campus.
  So the student he brought along with him was someone who used to study in the school I am currently studying in. His name was Nigel Lo. One of his traits that impressed me the most was not the fact that at a 20-something age he managed to create clubs and add them to college curriculum...no...although that is quite cool too...No, the thing that amazed me the most is that he managed to remember all the names of the people on campus in one year.
   He told us a story about a woman who helped a 17 year old autistic kid pass his exams. This kid had passed his Standard 1 exams 4 times in a row. With the help of this woman, he passed.
  He also told us how he helped change lives and give people new directions. He said that he would try and arrange a course with a few of us students, the first to sign up gets in the course. I wonder how he would react if he found proof that even kids younger than 18 can touch lives as much as adults can? How did YOU react the first time you met a CV Kid?
  Anyway, I have my intention set that I get the chance to join this course. :) I think this person can teach us about true leadership and confidence.
 Have a great week!

 
 

Intention...

The Universe is listening.
Lately I've been getting more and more proof that the Universe is actually reading my mind and responding to my thoughts. Not just MY thoughts, but the intention of anyone else.
For example, today I was thinking about Harry Potter. Not 5 seconds after that thought, the teacher started talking about Harry Potter. Hmm, maybe it was just a coincidence.
Okay, how about this?
A few days ago, I was reflecting on all the friends I used to have in my old schools. Then I thought about my KINDERGARTEN friends. Not long after that, I saw one of my old Kindy classmates. She had just started this year as well.
If that's not enough proof, listen to this:
We were listening to this radio channel, Hitz.fm
At the crossroads, the red light was taking an EXTREMELY long time. So we were looking around, and guess what we saw? We saw the Hitz.fm crew in a parking lot nearby! :O
And Nana said: "Oh my gosh!! That was my exact intention! I want to get their autograph!!''
We played  games  with the crew and got a few prizes!!! Yay!!!
Haha.
Anyway, I really appreciate the fact that the Universe keeps an open ear even for kids like me :)

Your Show-Up is Your Appearance

If you asked a friend: "Why do you like me?"
And they say: "You look good" , you know that friend is just a surface friend.
If their answer is something along the lines of: " You're a nice person to talk to..." You know this friend is a true friend, a real keeper.
The way you act in daily life is actually how you look like to the people that matter. No matter how good you look on the outside, it always takes a heart of gold to gain true friendship.
  Now, I'm not saying that looks don't matter at all (we wouldn't want you to go without showering or combing your hair for weeks, right?) Being a nice person matters, but radiating that energy is mainly what your outer looks are for. 
  You can tell a lot about a person through the way they dress, the way their hair is cut, the way they stand... all these little signs either get you friends or repel people from you. 
  "If outer looks were all that mattered, go befriend a robot" -Natalie :)

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
That is a question specifically directed at kids below 18.
Here's my stats from my experience with adults who ask this question:
2%- parents
10%-teachers
20%-people who want to give you their opinion
30%-people who reply my question about their jobs
18%-people who actually want to get to know me better
10%-friends
10%-forgetful people asking again
So sometimes when people ask me the question, I tell them I'm not sure. But to the teachers, I have to give them a specific answer.
Some adults think that kids should be allowed to dream.
Others think that kids have to meet society's expectations.
A majority of people think once kids reach a certain age, they have to stop fantasizing and think about their future jobs seriously.
So if you're 13 and you say " I want to be an astronaut!" The other person looks at you suspiciously and says: "Yeah right..."
But if you're 4 and you say " I want to be Superman!" Your parents smile and say you're cute.
Sometimes if we get discouraged too much, we try to keep our ambitions a secret. So maybe the next time you ask us, we might just give you a stony "I don't know."
 I think the future is important, and that we should plan for it, but we don't need all the pressure on thinking what EXACTLY we want to be. All we have to know is how we want to be involved in society, and that can start now. Our future occupation will come to us with our strong values and intentions.
Warning to parents: Trying to make your kid a lawyer or doctor may produce negative results.

New School!!

Wow. I see a really big difference between my primary school and secondary school, and my perspective towards it. 
In primary school, I had this unconscious thought that I had to be a very good kid, because somehow along the way, people have been planting scary illusions about primary school in my mind. Of course, I chose to accept it because I thought it was the best advice I could get.
  So I went to school, and I never believed that anything good could happen. Only until the few years before I graduated, when I was in Primary 4 or 5, did I realize that school is not a bad, the teachers aren't as mean. 
  And before I came to my secondary school, I knew most people got a bad impression of it. Again, I chose to believe that it was true. So before school started, which was the holidays, I was really nervous. Since most of the people have been studying there since they were still very very young, and they should probably know their way around, right? Being a person who doesn't like to feel left out or , you know, seen as someone who doesn't know everything, I was afraid that I'd mess things up. Also, I was afraid that I wouldn't have any friends because everyone has been in the same class for at least a year. 
  Then two days ago the holidays and ended and we had to go back to school.I was so nervous the night before. But the next day, most of that anxiety was gone. I had to face it eventually anyway, right? 
  So I went into class and sat there. I was one of the early ones (The second one to get in class, actually) I was hoping for a girl to sit next to me. Because a girl would be easier for me to get along with, right? 
  Well...guess what? My entire row was male...apart from another girl who had the same name as me. Natalie. So, the more you resist, the more the  "problem" persists. Turns out it wasn't a problem at all (more about that later). So that was the first day, and when I got home, I had this thought.
"Boys are so lucky to be able to make friends so quickly." 
  Girls can actually be harder to get along with. On the second day, I started to get to know the guys sitting around me. Turns out we read the same books, like the same things... SHOCKER! No, actually. After all, we are humans all the same. Humans of the same age, at that.
  And today, the third day. I finally began to feel that I was "one of them." Here's how it went. When I got to school, we started talking a bit more, and by then I had already remembered 98% of my classmates' names (the others were absent) so that made it easier. (I obviously learnt the name-remembering technique from CV :D) So we could communicate, right? And then during break time, Natalie asked to sit next to me. We started actually getting to know each other, and I found out that she was the only girl from her previous class that got into our form. She also introduced me to some of her friends. Now I'm known as Natalie 2. Haha. So Natalie is a really good friend now. 
  One more thing. There's a subject in which there is a foreman (even though the class is only girls) and a vice-foreman. The foreman was selected by the subject teacher. She told the foreman to choose a vice-foreman. This afternoon, the foreman suddenly asked me if I wanted to be vice-foreman. I was a little surprised that no one else wanted to be vice-foreman. Turns out I was the first person she asked. I don't know why, maybe because I was the person standing next to her then? Maybe because we have the same birthday? (Yeah, we do! Now I share my name AND my birthday AND favorite books with different people in my class! Wow!) Anyway, I agreed to be vice-foreman as long as no one else wanted the job. But the question that is still stuck in my mind is: Why should I be the vice-foreman. I'm just "the new kid", after all. Even Natalie said that I would be a good vice-foreman. 
  So that's how I came to enjoy school...quicker than I imagined!
  PS...It took me about 5 1/2 years to enjoy primary school. :o